Who Should Be On Your Divorce Team?

Divorce is a major life change, and it is considered one of the most stressful life events that a person experiences.  The stakes are high and the emotional load is heavy. If you are considering divorcing your spouse, or are in the middle of a divorce, consider building a team … Read More

Social Media During Divorce

According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory, divorce ranks second in the list of most stressful events in life. If you are going through, or even contemplating divorce, you should know that the stress of divorce is probably going to wear you down. There is no doubt that anyone going through … Read More

Establishing Boundaries with Your Divorcing Spouse

According to the Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory, divorce ranks as the second most stressful event in life. If you are going through, or even contemplating divorce, you should know that the stress of divorce is probably going to wear you down. In my work with divorcing couples and individuals, I have … Read More

Why Won’t He Apologize?

Most of us have had the experience of deeply desiring to hear an apology from someone for a hurt they have inflicted. However, we tend to share our pain as anger. That usually invokes defensiveness in the other. In her Ted Talk, “Why Won’t He Apologize,” Harriet Lerner, PhD, shares … Read More

Establishing Boundaries with Your Children During Your Divorce

Most children come through divorce fairly well. The research has shown that most children of divorce show few, if any, long term difficulties from their parent’s divorce. The research has also has found that children of parents with an abusive marriage fair better post-divorce than they did during the marriage … Read More

Is Defensiveness Wrecking Your Relationship?

Through his research, Dr. John Gottman found that distressed couples tend to use destructive behaviors in their conflict discussions, which leads to conflict escalation.  He calls these behaviors the four horsemen, after the Biblical four horsemen of the apocalypse. They include criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling.  We first covered the … Read More

Emotion Coaching from the Movie “Inside Out”

In my work with couples, I have learned the importance of attunement. Attunement is that feeling that we get when we feel like someone else understands what we are going through.  We’re no longer in it alone. Dr. Stephen Porges, in his book, “The Polyvagal Theory”, points out the importance … Read More

Is Criticism Wrecking Your Relationship?

Through his research, Dr. John Gottman found that distressed couples tend to use destructive behaviors in their conflict discussions, which leads to conflict escalation. He calls these behaviors the “four horsemen,” after the Biblical four horsemen of the apocalypse. They include criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. In this blog, I’ll … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 6

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From the onset, a stepfamily has several moving parts that a first family doesn’t encounter. For the children in a stepfamily, it is an overwhelming amount of change and can feel destabilizing. Studies have shown that that the most disrupting factor for children is not divorce, but exposure to parental … Read More