A Mindset of Successful Grieving

When there is a meaningful loss, grief is unavoidable. Whether it is the loss of a mate, a parent, a child, or even a dream, loss is a part of the human condition and, therefore, a universal experience. It is not a question of whether we will experience loss and … Read More

Being Present With Grief

Grief is best served when witnessed by a loving presence.  This is the ointment needed to soothe the wounds of a grieving person, according to renowned grief specialist, David Kessler. Very often, those around the grieving person struggle to find the right words or offer the perfect condolence, in hopes … Read More

Mine the Unconscious with Projective Exercises

Projective exercises are excellent therapeutic tools, designed to delve deeper into a person’s unconscious.  According to cognitive neuroscientists, we are conscious of approximately 5 percent of our cognitive activity.  This suggests that most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behavior depends on the 95 percent of brain activity that goes beyond our conscious awareness. … Read More

The Deceptive Face of Suicide

The face of suicide can be deceptive. In the past few weeks, the suicides of two celebrity figures have dominated the news cycle. Public reaction included both shock and confusion; shock from their premature deaths, and confusion as to how people who seemingly had it all were driven to take … Read More

Forgiveness as Therapy

The idea of forgiveness has long been understood to be good for the soul.  However, there is a growing body of evidence that states that forgiveness predicts mental and physical well-being.  In fact, it’s been found that forgiveness correlates with better mood and physical health. Did you know that there … Read More

Getting the Stress Monkey Off Your Back

The term “stress monkey” is both colloquial and scientific.  Urban Dictionary describes a stress monkey as “one who behaves like a panicked monkey, when placed under minimal stress.” Interestingly, there was a study done with monkeys to assess what type of stress was significant enough to cause ulcers. The Executive … Read More

Managing Anxiety as a Relationship Skill

People are made for relationship.  Our DNA directs us to belong and to seek intimacy.  What we rarely consider in our pursuit of belonging is that underlying anxiety effects the way we relate. Unbridled, reactive anxiety hurts the quality of our relationships. Therefore, managing anxiety is critical to healthy relationship … Read More

Fight the Good Fight

Conflict has gotten a bad rap. Often clients seek counseling in hopes of eliminating or minimizing fights. They may want to reassess conflict before hitting the dismiss button. Interestingly, conflict can actually benefit a relationship and an individual’s identity, if addressed well. The truth is that there is no real … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them


Over the last several blog posts I discussed how early experiences imprint intimacy patterns and influence the quality of our relationships. This is particularly so in marriage. Milan and Kay Yerkovich refer to these intimacy imprints as love styles, which impact how we receive and give love. The idea is … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them: Part 3


If you’re wrestling in the ambivalence of deeply wanting a steady connection with your spouse or thinking your marriage can’t improve, this blog may be for you. Often this type of thinking is characteristic of a vacillator love style. My previous blogs show how love styles are another way of … Read More