Fight the Good Fight

Conflict has gotten a bad rap. Often clients seek counseling in hopes of eliminating or minimizing fights. They may want to reassess conflict before hitting the dismiss button. Interestingly, conflict can actually benefit a relationship and an individual’s identity, if addressed well. The truth is that there is no real … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them: Part 2

marriage

Sometimes marriage relationships become stuck in repeated patterns. Couples become frustrated and marriages grow strained. With many clients, I have found that introducing love styles can be a powerful tool to deal with relationship obstacles. Love styles is a concept that therapists Milan and Kay Yerkovich grew out of attachment theory. … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them

couple in an abusive relationship

I have found myself often explaining to couples that marriage difficulties are not necessarily the fault of the marriage. A lot of what we experience in our relationships is actually a result of our early years and how emotions and needs were imprinted into us by those we attached to. … Read More

Habits: Avoiding the Hamster Wheel

rationalization

Making and breaking habits is hard work. Knowingly or unknowingly, much of our lives operate from the habits we have chosen. How we think, eat, exercise, inter-relate or work are examples of established habits. How do we strengthen good habits and interrupt unwanted habits? C. S. Lewis once said; “Every … Read More

Love at First Sight: How Perceptions Impact Love

love

The old adage, love at first sight, may be more scientific than we originally thought. Author Erik Van Alstine, Automatic Influence, has researched the idea of perceptions impacting love.  He argues that love is not a feeling first, it is first a perception. The feeling of love follows. What we … Read More

The Lions’ Den: A Survivalist Guide To Holidays

survivalist

Why do you need to be a survivalist during the holidays? We love to be with our family, but we hate the conflict. We can’t stay away and have to brace ourselves before walking into holiday family gatherings. It can feel like entering a lions’ den. Walking through the lions’ … Read More