People are wired for relationship. Most of us know this experientially, but science confirms this too. Alfred Adler, renowned philosopher and psychiatrist, believed that we all have one basic desire and goal: to belong and to feel significant. It is often in our social arenas that we find our greatest … Read More
A Mindset of Successful Grieving
When there is a meaningful loss, grief is unavoidable. Whether it is the loss of a mate, a parent, a child, or even a dream, loss is a part of the human condition and, therefore, a universal experience. It is not a question of whether we will experience loss and … Read More
Being Present With Grief
Grief is best served when witnessed by a loving presence. This is the ointment needed to soothe the wounds of a grieving person, according to renowned grief specialist, David Kessler. Very often, those around the grieving person struggle to find the right words or offer the perfect condolence, in hopes … Read More
Mine the Unconscious with Projective Exercises
Projective exercises are excellent therapeutic tools, designed to delve deeper into a person’s unconscious. According to cognitive neuroscientists, we are conscious of approximately 5 percent of our cognitive activity. This suggests that most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behavior depends on the 95 percent of brain activity that goes beyond our conscious awareness. … Read More
The Deceptive Face of Suicide
The face of suicide can be deceptive. In the past few weeks, the suicides of two celebrity figures have dominated the news cycle. Public reaction included both shock and confusion; shock from their premature deaths, and confusion as to how people who seemingly had it all were driven to take … Read More
Forgiveness and Your Mental Health
The bottom line is that when people forgive, their thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and health become more positive. Deciding to forgive is a good first step. But, deeper forgiveness will have a greater positive impact on your mental and physical health.
Getting the Stress Monkey Off Your Back
The term “stress monkey” is both colloquial and scientific. Urban Dictionary describes a stress monkey as “one who behaves like a panicked monkey, when placed under minimal stress.” Interestingly, there was a study done with monkeys to assess what type of stress was significant enough to cause ulcers. The Executive … Read More
Managing Anxiety as a Relationship Skill
People are made for relationship. Our DNA directs us to belong and to seek intimacy. What we rarely consider in our pursuit of belonging is that underlying anxiety effects the way we relate. Unbridled, reactive anxiety hurts the quality of our relationships. Therefore, managing anxiety is critical to healthy relationship … Read More
Fight the Good Fight
Conflict has gotten a bad rap. Often clients seek counseling in hopes of eliminating or minimizing fights. They may want to reassess conflict before hitting the dismiss button. Interestingly, conflict can actually benefit a relationship and an individual’s identity, if addressed well. The truth is that there is no real … Read More
Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them
Over the last several blog posts I discussed how early experiences imprint intimacy patterns and influence the quality of our relationships. This is particularly so in marriage. Milan and Kay Yerkovich refer to these intimacy imprints as love styles, which impact how we receive and give love. The idea is … Read More
