Did You Spend Valentine’s Day Alone? Singleness and Self-Love

Valentine’s Day came and went without a card in your mailbox, flowers not delivered to work, nor a date to that amazing new restaurant you have been wanting to try. Don’t worry, you were not the only one who spent Valentine’s Day alone.

In fact, millions of other people spent Valentine’s Day in similar fashion. The only difference in spending Valentine’s Day alone, or spending Valentine’s Day lonely is the perspective of the person. The feeling of “alone” can be experienced as positive or healthy. One can go to a restaurant alone and have an amazing experience. One can watch a movie alone and laugh uncontrollably. One can even buy themselves a gift and in turn, give it and receive it with love. The feeling of “lonely” can be negative or unhealthy. It is a feeling that can be experienced as loss or unwanted.

Commonly, people who feel lonely report that they desire to be connected with others, but they do not feel loved or wanted by a particular person or by a group of people. Feeling lonely for an extended period of time can lead to many symptoms of depression. So, if you found yourself without a date or a significant other for Valentine’s Day, I hope that you chose to be “alone” instead of “lonely”.

However, if you fell into the lonely category, here are some ways that you can show yourself love:
1: Write yourself a card and mail it to yourself telling yourself how much you love you, respect you, and how amazing you are. This may seem silly, but the delay in a few days of sending and receiving a card will build expectation, hope, and you might even find yourself sprinting to the mailbox each day until the card arrives.

2: Take yourself to your favorite restaurant and leave your phone in the vehicle. Sitting at the bar while at a restaurant can be an amazing experience to meet others. As a person who bartended for 4 years while working on my degrees, I built many relationships with my patrons and even witnessed many “regulars” meet and form meaningful relationships over the years. No, not all were romantic relationships, but friendships were built over a beverage and meal. By leaving your phone in the vehicle, you cannot be tempted to turn to email or social media as a distraction.

3: Plan a solo vacation. This vacation might be a day, or a week. Having something to look forward to and to plan will get those creative juices flowing, and you can connect with yourself during the experience.

Written by: Adam Glendye