Have you had a pattern of failed relationships that’s left you feeling hurt, angry, confused and duped? As you look back, do you wonder how could I end up with another jerk who seemed so perfect at first sight?

If so, you may be falling for narcissists.

According to the DSM-5, NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) is defined as comprising a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, constant need for admiration and lack of empathy beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. Narcissists tend to not do well in long term relationships because of the conflict these types of characteristics will inevitably cause.

So, why do I keep falling for narcissists at first sight?

You are not alone! A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology revealed that narcissists can produce physical, verbal and non-verbal cues in four areas that are considered valuable to a potential partner:

1. They appear attractive, usually dressed in expensive, flashy attire. They are well groomed and sporting fashionable hairstyles. They smile often, which is a positive cue that could keep you falling for a narcissist at first sight.
2. They exude competence. Dominance, entitlement and superiority beliefs are exhibited with self-assured behaviors ranging from straight posture and appearing relaxed in novel situations. A narcissist could appear very cool, calm and collected which could be a positive cue to you. 
3. They display interpersonal warmth. From their charming glances at strangers, to their ability to engage with others and show interest, a narcissist may be the most charismatic person in the room. 
4. They are humorous and their witty verbal expressions are on display for everyone to see. A narcissist’s tendency is to entertain others in order to be viewed in a humorous, joking way. Let’s face it, a funny person can be hard to resist.

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Written by: Porsha Jones