Our society is often very logical. It is usually the expectation as an adult that you will be able to explain and justify your actions, and “I felt like it” isn’t typically acceptable when someone confronts something you’ve done that they disagree with. Furthermore, our feelings can be unpredictable, and that often leads us to disregard our feelings in favor of what is logical. However, they are there for a reason.

For many of us, it can be difficult to put into words why something is meaningful, what makes it special, or why it is valuable to us. We just know in our gut that it is.

Conversely, there are times when we can just tell that something isn’t for us- there isn’t anything wrong with it, and it may be checking all the boxes you thought you wanted to be checked, and yet you still feel at a loss or unfulfilled. This may be a job, a friendship, a relationship, an apartment, a city, a volunteer opportunity, or even just an outfit. You may try to make it work because it seems like it should be perfect for you, but it just ISN’T.

Sometimes, it is better to ignore the “logical” best fit, and go with what makes you feel right, fulfilled, and satisfied.

To others, it may appear that you gave up a really valuable promotion, or left the “perfect” partner, but at the end of the day, you are the one who has to live in your own skin and life. This isn’t to say you should follow every whim or passing emotion. There are going to be days when you feel sad, no matter what you’re doing, or days when you feel unfulfilled, unsatisfied, and unappreciated.

However if you notice a pattern, or the feelings aren’t going away despite your best efforts to work through them, maybe it is time to stop and really pay attention to what your feelings are telling you. After all, we’re only alive for a short time; shouldn’t we use that time to chase the things that really speak to us instead of just going through the “right” motions?

Molly Halbrooks, LMFT
mhalbrooks @ growcounseling.com