We can all think back to the time we were growing up and remember learning distinct roles from our parents. Whether you had an intact family of a mother and father, single parent, parents of the same gender, or even growing up with foster parents; we all learned about what it means “to be a man” or what it means “to be a woman”.  However, not everyone has the same views of “what it means to be a man” or “what it means to be a woman” because we all come from different backgrounds, different cultures, and different families. To some, the gender roles are similar to June and Ward Cleaver from television’s “Leave it to Beaver”, or maybe even from “Seinfeld” or for the younger generation “The Jetson’s.”
As you think about what it means for you to be a “man” or “woman”, know that you are able to take what you learned as a child and think about whether you truly own these cultural assumptions.  This can be a time where you can re-write the gender script for yourself and your family. For someone who grew up hunting and fishing, you could re-write the script to possibly be successful in a job, the ability to take care of home maintenance, or even to be loving toward your family by showing your emotions and being available to your children and partner. For a woman growing up with a stay-at-home mom might compel your to want to do the same; however, you can still be a “woman” with different scripts for gender and gender-roles.
What are some cultural assumptions you were raised to believe? How can you change those assumptions for your life now and for your family?  What cultural assumptions would you like to carry on to your future or current family?

Adam Glendye, LAPC
aglendye@ GROWcounseling.com