Life On Your Own Terms

I had a wise colleague encourage me the other day to live life on my own terms.  When I stopped to think about it for a moment, I didn’t really know what that meant.

It is so easy to get caught up in what we see in the world, what family wants or expects, or even what we think we want for ourselves- perhaps things we decided when we were children, or have been working toward for so long-we don’t really stop to think about whether it still fits with who we’ve grown into.

That moment with my colleague sent me on a path to figure out what “life on my terms” would look like. It isn’t an easy question to ask myself; stepping outside of the comfortable, familiar day-to-day routine that I don’t have to think about, takes effort.  

I had to spend some time exploring what makes up my life, what my priorities are, and how those things got put on the priority list in the first place. I had to examine my choices, both large and small, and be brutally honest with myself about where I was holding myself back because of fear or lack of confidence.

This is an ongoing process.   We are all always growing and changing, and so what makes up a meaningful “life on my terms” will naturally grow and change as well. I am not going to pretend that taking on this question has resulted in a Zen-like peace, with only meaningful things and people involved in my life.  I do, however, feel like exploring this has made me more aware of my strengths, my growth areas, and helped me be more intentional when I say yes or no to including things in my life.

What would it mean for you to live life on your terms?  What is holding you back from making choices from a centered, thoughtful place?

Molly Halbrooks, LMFT