Going off to college is probably one of the most exciting and scary times for a student. You are leaving home for the first time other than for summer camp or spending the night with a friend. Going to college is a lot different than the weekend or week or even a month you might have spent away from your family before. This is a time when you get to make your own choices about when to go to sleep, when/how much/how little/what kind of food you are going to eat for every meal of the day, you will have a “budget” for probably the first time ever, and you will have to choose your friends. Some of you will be fortunate enough to know your roommate, but have you ever lived with someone other than a sibling for nine months? If you are honest with yourself, this can be a little scary.
So, here are some helpful hints for living with a roommate:
- Be Assertive- Tell your roommate when you would like to go to sleep each night. It doesn’t mean that they have to go to sleep then, but let them know what your sleeping needs are.
- Cleaning – You will probably have a different schedule than your roommate, so who is going to take out the trash? When are you going to clean? What are your thoughts who is going to clean the bathroom and how often? By setting up cleaning cards or a chart you might be able to ease some unnecessary stress with your roommate.
- Studying- Eventually, you will have to study. Where will you study? If your roommate is asleep will you keep the overhead light on, will you go to the library or common room in your residence hall or apartment, or will you use a lamp to light your desk or bed so you can study?
- Friends– You and your roommate do not have to become best friends. You do not have to even like your roommate, but you do have to get along to be able to live together. Tell your roommate if you need some space, but also be courteous enough to ask your roommate if he or she would like to join in with your friends when you are doing something fun.
- Problem Solving– If you don’t talk about the problem, the problem will only get worse. It is ok to tell your roommate that his shoes smell or that his sweaty clothes need to be washed. If you do not communicate with your roommate about your expectations then you will have problems with your roommate.
So, good luck with your transition to college, living with someone new, and of course studying.
Adam Glendye MA MFT
aglendye@ GROWCounseling.com
