What to do when you and your partner are complete opposites?

You may be familiar with the old adage, “Opposites Attract” and it may even be true for you and your partner.

Having a partner that is your opposite can add a lot to the relationship.

The other person is able to see things from a different perspective, and you are able to provide different strengths to offer the other person. However, sometimes having a partner that is completely different from you can feel confusing and lonely.

So, here are a few tips for how to tackle (not literally) this with your partner:

  • Be Curious – Confrontation is a healthy part of relationships. Conflict can certainly be increased if you and your partner often feel like opposites. Being curious about your partner’s perspective can turn confrontation into an opportunity to hear how the other person gained that perspective.
  • Get to know your partners inner world – John & Julie Gottman, renowned couple’s therapist, say that getting to know your partner’s inner world leads to better understanding and intimacy. Through an activity called Love Maps, you intentionally ask questions on an ongoing basis with your partner to better understand the road map of their inner world. You can find the app “Card Decks” in the App Store.
  • Couples Counseling – Often, the best step you can take to learn how to work better within a relationship of opposites is to seek out couples counseling. Having a professional to help facilitate healthy processing can lead to you and your partner feeling more like you’re on the same team rather than opposing ones!

Written by: Celeste Calvert