No Ordinary Connection


I can still remember my mother saying the words, “Think of a way to stand out,” while I was writing my college essays. Most of us think that we need to stand out to be recognized. Academics, coaches, music teachers, etc… all teach us the art of perfection. I recently read an article that was written by Google’s former in house therapist, Katherine Schafler.

In this article, she talks about how most people connect to the ordinary things about you.

She listened to people talk about their lives and the important people who are in their lives. Here are some things she NEVER hears:

Here are some things she NEVER hears:

  • I miss the way he got a 3.8 GPA in college.
  • Her arms were just so perfectly toned when she rested a hand on her hip while posing for photos, that’s when I knew I loved her. I need those toned arms back so badly.
  • The best thing about my daughter is that she earns so much money, it’s what makes me most proud as a parent.

Often times we internalize these personal events as our accomplishments and assign a value to them. This can cause us to strive for perfection and feel “less than” or “not enough” when we fail at perfection.

Schafler espouses that most people fall in love with your combination of ordinary attributes and that the accomplishments that you assign value to are often valued secondarily to the people closest to you.

In her blog, she challenges her readers to consider what they adore about another person. This is such an interesting exercise because it causes you to stop and take a moment to look at some of the small things that are really important. When I think about the attributes that I value about my husband, they are his loyalty, love, work ethic, but most importantly his inability to suppress his laughter when he is telling me a joke that he thinks is funny. I encourage all of you to read the article and find out what you really value in a person.

Written By: Chelsey Beauchamp, MS