In part 2 of 3 of this Shaking Shame blog series, I mentioned that practicing self-compassion is one way to help “shake” perfectionism. The word compassion actually means to “suffer with.” Compassion involves feeling moved by others’ pain and suffering so that your heart responds in kind and gentle ways.
Self-compassion is just directing that response to yourself in time of need.
I get such great feedback from my clients practicing self-compassion to “shake” perfectionism and shame that I thought it would be helpful to go more in depth on this practice.
Dr. Kristen Neff is one of the world’s leading experts on self-compassion. She teaches that self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings, instead of harshly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings. She describes these three core elements of self-compassion in depth:
- Self-kindness vs. Self-judgement
- Common humanity vs. Isolation
- Mindfulness vs. Identification
Written By: Porsha Jones