It can be difficult to listen to someone express dissatisfaction with an open mind.
Instead of receiving the comments as a reflection of someone else’s feelings, we insert ourselves into the mix, imbuing their comments with accusation and expectation and responding with defensiveness.
Do you keep score in your relationships of all the times your loved one has disappointed you? This can create a negative atmosphere that is difficult to overcome. If you expect someone to disappoint you, you will only focus on what they are doing wrong to prove you are right. The problem with this behavior is we miss-out on the good things our loved one is doing.
When it comes to your kids getting along, sometimes you can end up feeling less like a parent and more like a referee. Sibling rivalry is something that most families experience to some degree. Whether it’s a simple squabble over a toy or a full-blown fight with lots of yelling, … Read More
Conflict in marriage is what brings many couples into counseling. With two unique individuals coming together, values, opinions, and personality traits are bound to collide. According to John Gottman, a leading research scientist on marriage and family, all marital conflicts fall into one of two categories: either they can be … Read More
Conflict has gotten a bad rap. Often clients seek counseling in hopes of eliminating or minimizing fights. They may want to reassess conflict before hitting the dismiss button. Interestingly, conflict can actually benefit a relationship and an individual’s identity, if addressed well. The truth is that there is no real … Read More
According to a recent survey of 2,000 workers by one of the nation’s top EAP providers, 60% of employees reported that they experienced high levels of stress. Another 32% said they experienced “constant, but manageable levels”. In other words, over 90% of employees deal with many levels of stress at … Read More
What do you think of when you think of courage? I used to think about the main characters in my favorite stories as a kid; Jackie Robinson, Doc Holliday (the Val Kilmer version) and Batman. To 7-year old me, these guys seemed absolutely fearless, and that’s what courage meant to … Read More