In newly formed stepfamilies, the standard advice that I give to the couple is for the parent to take the lead with discipline. There is a great deal of research supporting this stance. The most helpful role for step parents during the early years of stepfamily formation is to nurture … Read More
Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 3
While the step-couple may be experiencing the bliss of their new relationship, children are likely experiencing a myriad of emotions. When a stepfamily forms, changes often happen too quickly for the children. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow, this presents a common challenge that stepfamilies encounter: Children are dealing with losses, … Read More
Yours, Mine, and Ours: 5 Tips for Merging Two Families
When families blend and stepfamilies are created, it is not uncommon for problems or conflict to arise. This adjustment process comes with its own unique rewards and challenges. Research findings suggest that a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit. In order to increase your best chance … Read More
Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 2
One of the most frequent challenges I see with the step-couples that I work with is that one of them is struggling with feeling like an outsider in their own family. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow (2013), stuck insider/outsider positioning is a core challenge for the stepfamily. And for those … Read More
Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 1
In her book, “Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t,” Patricia Papernow, EdD, discusses the five common challenges that a stepfamily can face and offers some straightforward guidance to help address them. In my work with stepfamilies and in my own stepfamily experiences, I have witnessed … Read More
Ease the Back to School Butterflies
As summer comes to an end, you may notice your kids are asking more questions about going back to school and may even have some butterflies about all the upcoming changes. Kids may feel worried about having a new teacher, finding friends to sit with at lunch, or even if … Read More
Children and the Financial Impact of Divorce
Recently, I was asked to be an expert on a podcast with IRC Wealth discussing divorce and how to manage the financial impacts that it may have on children. With divorce, decisions made regarding the children are often some of the most difficult. Will we split custody? Where will the … Read More
Confessions of Empty Nesters
The empty nester time is approaching and your little “chick” is leaving the nest. I’m sure you’ve heard rumors about how you would feel or better yet how you should feel during this time and what your confessions will be. There definitely seems to be politically correct versions of confessions of your … Read More
Does Your Marriage Feel Like a Long Distance Relationship?
Most couples expect that marriage will guarantee increased physical and emotional closeness in their relationship. I don’t believe this is a far-fetched assumption. Marriage provides a shared home, children, interests, and activities. Many of my couples are reporting distress due to the unanticipated physical and emotional distance they are experiencing … Read More
Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them: Part 2
Sometimes marriage relationships become stuck in repeated patterns. Couples become frustrated and marriages grow strained. With many clients, I have found that introducing love styles can be a powerful tool to deal with relationship obstacles. Love styles is a concept that therapists Milan and Kay Yerkovich grew out of attachment theory. … Read More
