Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 5

Every family has it’s own unique culture. Family cultures include a set of belief systems that include aspects such as: how to spend money, how to spend time, what acceptable behaviors are and family traditions and rituals. When a stepfamily unites, they face the challenge of merging these cultures (Papernow, … Read More

Conflict in Marriage: Two Kinds

GROW Counseling

Conflict in marriage is what brings many couples into counseling. With two unique individuals coming together, values, opinions, and personality traits are bound to collide. According to John Gottman, a leading research scientist on marriage and family, all marital conflicts fall into one of two categories: either they can be … Read More

Relationship: The One Thing You Need for a Happier Life

touch

It’s not wealth, fame or even success in your career. According to this Washington Post article, Harvard researchers have found that the key to the happy life is…relationship. The 75-year-old Grant Study is the oldest of its kind. It has followed the lives of men from Harvard University and Boston … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 4

divorce

In newly formed stepfamilies, the standard advice that I give to the couple is for the parent to take the lead with discipline. There is a great deal of research supporting this stance. The most helpful role for step parents during the early years of stepfamily formation is to nurture … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 3

stepfamily

While the step-couple may be experiencing the bliss of their new relationship, children are likely experiencing a myriad of emotions.  When a stepfamily forms, changes often happen too quickly for the children. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow, this presents a common challenge that stepfamilies encounter: Children are dealing with losses, … Read More

Yours, Mine, and Ours: 5 Tips for Merging Two Families

families

When families blend and stepfamilies are created, it is not uncommon for problems or conflict to arise. This adjustment process comes with its own unique rewards and challenges. Research findings suggest that a stepfamily takes several years to develop into a family unit. In order to increase your best chance … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 2

stepfamily

One of the most frequent challenges I see with the step-couples that I work with is that one of them is struggling with feeling like an outsider in their own family. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow (2013), stuck insider/outsider positioning is a core challenge for the stepfamily. And for those … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them

marriage

Over the last several blog posts I discussed how early experiences imprint intimacy patterns and influence the quality of our relationships. This is particularly so in marriage. Milan and Kay Yerkovich refer to these intimacy imprints as love styles, which impact how we receive and give love. The idea is … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 1

stepfamily

In her book, “Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t,” Patricia Papernow, EdD, discusses the five common challenges that a stepfamily can face and offers some straightforward guidance to help address them. In my work with stepfamilies and in my own stepfamily experiences, I have witnessed … Read More

Children and the Financial Impact of Divorce: Part 2

children

Recently, I was asked to be an expert on a podcast with IRC Wealth discussing divorce, finances, and children. I wanted to write a blog series as well discussing the tips that I gave to help ensure that the financial impacts of divorce will have the least impact on your … Read More