Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them: Part 2

marriage

Sometimes marriage relationships become stuck in repeated patterns. Couples become frustrated and marriages grow strained. With many clients, I have found that introducing love styles can be a powerful tool to deal with relationship obstacles. Love styles is a concept that therapists Milan and Kay Yerkovich grew out of attachment theory. … Read More

Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them

couple in an abusive relationship

I have found myself often explaining to couples that marriage difficulties are not necessarily the fault of the marriage. A lot of what we experience in our relationships is actually a result of our early years and how emotions and needs were imprinted into us by those we attached to. … Read More

Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics

pre-marriage

If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced a few ups and downs in your relationship.  But do you ever wonder about the health of your marriage?  In his book, “The Science of Trust,” Dr. John Gottman discusses that, even though healthy marriages can vary greatly … Read More

Marriage and Kids: How Does That Work?

marriage

Ready for a surprise? Multiple studies have found that most couples experience a decline in marriage satisfaction during the first three years after a baby is born. Now that doesn’t mean that the parents aren’t thrilled about their new little one, it means that the couple’s emotional connectedness, passion and … Read More

Complain, but Don’t Criticize

fight

If you are in a committed relationship, you are occasionally going to complain about your partner. Valid complaints help us grow and become better partners. But how do you complain without it resulting in a fight? The key is to soften how the complaint is voiced. In Dr. John Gottman’s research, … Read More

Emotions and Divorce

fight

When the idea of divorce becomes an unwelcome reality, there are a lot of emotions that drive decision making. Even if you’ve determined to be as gracious and collaborative as possible, guilt, fear, shame, anger, hurt, and pain all make pretty quick appearances. Sometimes people are really caught off guard … Read More

Experiencing Positive Change in Your Relationships

marriage

As a marriage and family therapist, the biggest hurdle that I see individuals and couples face in realizing the goals for their relationships is that they keep doing what they have been doing, in spite of having learned a better way. So, as the Nike ad says, “Just do it.” … Read More

Ignite Your Passion this Valentine’s Day with a Sex Talk

sex

It’s never a bad thing to have a sex talk with your partner, but it does require a thoughtful approach to ignite the passion in your relationship. Passion is what most couples I work with want more of when they assess their sexual needs. They want powerful, compelling emotions with … Read More

Love at First Sight: How Perceptions Impact Love

love

The old adage, love at first sight, may be more scientific than we originally thought. Author Erik Van Alstine, Automatic Influence, has researched the idea of perceptions impacting love.  He argues that love is not a feeling first, it is first a perception. The feeling of love follows. What we … Read More

Couples Therapy: Experience Something New!

couples

If couples are going to change, they are going to need more than knowledge about what they could do differently. They are going to need to risk doing things differently and have new, healing experiences. DH Lawrence wrote, The world fears a new experience more than it fears anything. Because … Read More