Not-So-Happy Mother’s Day for Stepmom

Mother’s Day is oftentimes one of the toughest days of the year for stepmoms and blended families. Here are a few tips to help make it a bit more bearable day.

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 6

pet

From the onset, a stepfamily has several moving parts that a first family doesn’t encounter. For the children in a stepfamily, it is an overwhelming amount of change and can feel destabilizing. Studies have shown that that the most disrupting factor for children is not divorce, but exposure to parental … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 5

Every family has it’s own unique culture. Family cultures include a set of belief systems that include aspects such as: how to spend money, how to spend time, what acceptable behaviors are and family traditions and rituals. When a stepfamily unites, they face the challenge of merging these cultures (Papernow, … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 4

divorce

In newly formed stepfamilies, the standard advice that I give to the couple is for the parent to take the lead with discipline. There is a great deal of research supporting this stance. The most helpful role for step parents during the early years of stepfamily formation is to nurture … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 3

stepfamily

While the step-couple may be experiencing the bliss of their new relationship, children are likely experiencing a myriad of emotions.  When a stepfamily forms, changes often happen too quickly for the children. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow, this presents a common challenge that stepfamilies encounter: Children are dealing with losses, … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 2

stepfamily

One of the most frequent challenges I see with the step-couples that I work with is that one of them is struggling with feeling like an outsider in their own family. According to Dr. Patricia Papernow (2013), stuck insider/outsider positioning is a core challenge for the stepfamily. And for those … Read More

Strengthening Your Stepfamily: Part 1

stepfamily

In her book, “Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesn’t,” Patricia Papernow, EdD, discusses the five common challenges that a stepfamily can face and offers some straightforward guidance to help address them. In my work with stepfamilies and in my own stepfamily experiences, I have witnessed … Read More

Divorce: Dad or Mom left…now what?

divorce

Navigating divorce is difficult. There are many causes for divorce. A few of these are: Affairs Grown apart/fallen out of love Addiction Incompatible Divorce becomes even more complex when there are children involved. Many times, parents become bitter and angry towards each other and it is hard to treat each … Read More

Experiencing Positive Change in Your Relationships

marriage

As a marriage and family therapist, the biggest hurdle that I see individuals and couples face in realizing the goals for their relationships is that they keep doing what they have been doing, in spite of having learned a better way. So, as the Nike ad says, “Just do it.” … Read More