As a parent, you set out to teach your kids so many important life lessons. You guide them to important moral values of right and wrong. You teach them to be respectful to others. You help them learn how to be empathetic to others’ feelings. You also want them to learn how to be responsible and accountable for their actions so that they can learn to be independent one day.  But sometimes it is hard to know how to go about teaching responsibility. Does it mean giving more chores or having them clean up their own messes? While those can be really helpful for kids to learn, teaching responsibility is also about kids taking ownership over the tasks they need to complete, doing them well, and being proud of having done so. 

Being responsible is an important life skill for kids to start learning while they are young so that they can interact with the world in a helpful way. Studies have shown that kids who are taught about responsibility are able to work better with others and have better organizational skills. It can also help you as a parent to divide up the workload of the family so everyone can have more time to have fun together!

Here are some ways to teach your kids about responsibility:

• Build the right expectations. Work to create an environment where kids are responsible for not only their own self-care but also the family’s wellbeing in age-appropriate ways. Find ways your kids already help and praise them even if it’s just helping their sibling up when they fall or throwing away their trash. Start asking kids to help with tasks around the house.  Show them that when they help out more and take responsibility of their own self-care that they get to make more of their own independent choices.
• Let kids “help” even if it creates more work for you. Building their desire to help is more important that having the job done quickly or perfectly. Letting them help, especially when it’s a mess they made, teaches them that we are all responsible for our own messes. When they spill their drink, pick up the paper towels together and patiently show them how to clean it up. Over time letting them help with routine task helps build a desire and confidence to care for themselves and the environment around them.
• Build a routine.  Instead of telling them to do each individual task as they are getting ready for school or bed, try asking them what they need to do next to get ready. Over time, this gives them the opportunity to manage themselves and become independent in their routines through repetition. It may even be helpful for them to make a written schedule to help themselves keep track of their regular tasks.
• Model responsibility. As you are responsible for tasks, talk about them out loud so your kids can learn through you. You can say “Now that dinner is done, we all take our plates to the sink” or “Sometimes it feels easier to leave our shoes on the floor, but we have to put them away”. This helps kids notice the tasks you are completing throughout the day and gives them ways they can take responsibility for themselves and help the family.

Written by: Laura Lebovitz