In life, many people take others for face value. That is until they begin to live with them. Then it’s almost like the floodgates open and what was once this sweet, compassionate, loving and endearing individual has turned into a wildly raging person without any consideration for the “one they love.” It’s imperative, yea, dare I say vital, that each party give plenty of time and effort to “knowing” the other prior to any long term commitment.
Yet one may say “but I thought I knew him, he was so loving and kind when we first met. I just don’t know what happened to him.” He’s sitting right next to her thinking to himself, (of course, because that’s what guys do,) “you happened to me, you changed.” Then on and on it goes into a spiraling head-on collision where both finally say “enough, it’s over, why was I ever with you!” So let’s backtrack for just a minute and try to understand just where it may have gone wrong.  Was it because they didn’t love or care for one another? No, probably not. Love is determined in a multitude of ways. Was it the idea that they didn’t have a good time together? Again, I’d have to answer in the negative. No, it was most likely the case of the “not knowings.” Those little things about people that we take for granted. We gloss over some very important aspects of people’s personalities at times in the hope of “them changing” in regard to this or that.  Consequently, those seemingly insignificantly simple matters end up causing some very significant disagreements.
So the moral of the story would be this: take time to get to know those with whom you desire to make long-term commitments. Taking that extra time can and does help prevent hurt and pain that can last a lifetime. Really get to know and understand each other. Talk about things that matter. Be willing to allow yourself the freedom to engage in conversations that will bring out feelings so that a deeper understanding of the other person is revealed. Finally, realize that if they’re unwilling or unable to dialogue about those feelings and thoughts, they just may not be the person you hoped or thought they were.