Instant gratification is common in our society today. We can have our shopping delivered right to our door the same day we ordered it; we can watch tv shows instantly and without commercials, and we have emails and notifications delivered to our watches so we can have the responses instantaneously. We live on a twenty-four hour news cycle- both corporately, and within our personal social media feeds.
So it makes sense to me that when a client walks in the office, there can be a desire for immediate results. We want the pain, anxiety or depression to be gone instantly; for the relationship to turn around by the time we walk out of the office; for the years of abuse to be erased and forgotten. We tell ourselves to hurry up and heal faster, to learn the lessons at the speed of light so we can move on with our lives. All of this makes sense. Pain is…well, painful, and it can be hard to give ourselves the grace and time we need in order to heal.
Healing is more like gardening than being in the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant. When you plant a seed, do you come back an hour later expecting to see a blooming flower? No, of course not.
In growing a flower, we understand that it takes time for the seed to take root, and that it needs sunshine, water, and good soil in order to thrive, grow, and eventually bloom. We don’t yell at, shame, or nag the seed…we give it space, and show up to take care of it.
I say this phrase to my clients often: the slower you go, the faster you get there. When you take the time to invest in your healing, and participate in the process of growth, things change. When we try to skim through the work as fast as possible, we will often find ourselves going in circles, addressing the same problems time and time again.
What would it look like to be patient and present in your own healing? Maybe it looks like practicing deep breathing exercises to calm your anxiety, or practicing naming your emotions as they arise. Whatever it looks like, remember you are planting a seed of change and healing that will grow- if you care for it…and it’s natural that it takes some time.
Written by: Courtney Hintermeyer