If you have ever wished for a child’s tantrum to stop then this information could be helpful for you. New research is showing that children’s tantrums have a pattern to them, meaning most children’s tantrums start and end in similar ways. Why is this important for you to know in getting a child’s tantrums to stop you might ask. For starters, if you know the pattern of the tantrum you know what to expect, which will likely allow you to remain calmer and help reduce the intensity of tantrum more quickly. Other ways this information can be helpful is by letting you know when to intervene in a child’s tantrums.
Here is the common tantrum pattern:
Stage 1: Yelling and Screaming –Usually Feelings of Anger
Stage 2: Physical Action
Stage 3: Crying and Whining –Usually Feelings of Sadness
So here are some takeaways for the next tantrum you come across. Remember to try to remain calm throughout the tantrum especially in stage 1 and 2, the more anger and intensity you add to the situation the longer the tantrum will likely last. It might help to think of the tantrum as a storm that you are waiting out through stage 1 and 2 as long as the child is not harming their self, someone else, or damaging property. In stage 3 the child likely starts to feel sad and start crying or whining and seeking comfort from caregiver or parent. At this point the child is attempting to calm themselves down by coming to you for comfort. Giving the child comfort will likely reduce the tantrum further but it is important the caregiver or parent continues with the original limit or consequence the parent was setting when the tantrum broke out. By not getting their way through throwing the tantrum the child will likely over a period of time decide it is not worth the energy and learn to calm themselves down more quickly.
Jennifer Wilmoth, LAMFT
jwilmoth@GROWcounseing. com
Research information taken from:
Screaming, yelling, whining, and crying: Categorical and intensity differences in vocal expressions of anger and sadness in children’s tantrums.
Green, James A.; Whitney, Pamela G.; Potegal, Michael
Emotion, Vol 11(5), Oct 2011, 1124-1133. doi: 10.1037/a0024173
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