Divorce is a difficult choice. It is a road that none of us plan to go down before saying “I do.” However, for many couples, it is an unfortunate reality. When you are the one going through it, it can feel very lonely, and sometimes, shameful.

In her Ted Talk, “Disrupting the Divorce Experience. Defining Your Next Chapter,” Sadie Bjornstad talks about lessoning the stigma of divorce, and creating new possibilities for ourselves. It’s often our own belief system and personal narrative that get in our way.

There are some key takeaways from this talk that are helpful for anyone going through a divorce:

• Be open to things being different after divorce than you expect.
• Focus on the things that are within your control.
• Identify with a role model or a mentor who has been there.
• Reshape your community post-divorce in a way that provides you with the support you need.

Remember that you are in the driver’s seat. Divorce does not need to define who you are. You have the power to shape your narrative into one in which you are living life as your preferred self.

Jackie Dunagan, LMFT