There are a bunch of really great books out there about emotional intelligence. Personally, I recommend the original Daniel Goleman book that first introduced the concept into our public consciousness.

However, will reading books or attending seminars about emotional intelligence actually increase our own?

How much does reading a book about golf make you better at golf? How much does watching the Olympics make you a better skier?

The answer is, not much.

Books and seminars have their place. Reading a book about golf can inspire you to get up early next Saturday to play a round. Watching the Olympics can inspire you to book that trip to Steamboat Springs next winter.

But, there comes a point where the most effective way to get better at something is to stop reading about it, stop watching others do it, and get out there yourself. The same is true with emotional intelligence.

So how does one do that with emotional intelligence? The most effective way to grow in your emotional intelligence is to begin meeting with a therapist. A good therapist can be like a golf pro for your mind, helping you build on your strengths and begin to notice things you didn’t even know were there.

Eric McClerren, LAPC

emcclerren@growcounseling.com