In the last couple of generations there was a familiar thought that dads, when they had the kids for the day or even a few hours were “babysitting.” Dads today seem to take the responsibility with a little more gratitude that they have the opportunity to spend the time with their children. I know I did. When my children were small I remember playing on the floor with all three at the same time. They’d be climbing over and under me. Then we’d switch to hide-and-seek, I was really good at hiding from them so much so that they’d want to give up and start calling for me to come out, just to say “we found you.” How unfortunate for so many fathers to consider that their children are some sort of burden that they have to babysit them while mom is out shopping, or even working.

As I mentioned though, this generation of young dads seem to really appreciate their little ones and the time they’re able to spend with them. I regularly hear from clients that they’re especially glad for the one-on-one time they have. This is certainly beneficial for the child. To have that close relationship with a primary caregiver is vital at all ages and definitely at young ages. Dads provide a basis to foster children’s self-esteem and assured-ness. To hear and sense the love and compassion that a dad gives only goes to promote a healthy mindset and strong feelings of safety. Even dads who were not afforded the proper role model image, if they are willing to learn, can bolster their own child’s ability to sustain good relationships.

Sometimes it becomes important for dads to choose which direction they’ll take with their children. Whether to relive the past where their caretakers thought of spending time with their children as babysitting or to take a higher road and enjoy the time and realize that it’s fleeting and that their little ones will be launched very soon. John Trent, Ph.D in his book “Choosing to Live the Blessing” writes about a mother and her daughter on their way to Auschwitz. The mom turned to her daughter and said “What you and I put in our heads is a choice. What will it be? Hatred or love? Bitterness or kindness? Vengeance or forgiveness? A curse or a blessing?” We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we will respond to what happens. No one can take that away. The choice is always ours. It’s this manner of thinking that will enable fathers to step up to the challenge of fatherhood with a purpose and desire to meet that challenge.