“I feel like I have a sign that says GO AWAY on my forehead” says a friend of mine who couldn’t figure out why guys were not coming up to her at a bar over the weekend. While she didn’t have a sign, she might be communicating some things to guys unknowingly through her non-verbal communication.
Like my friend, you might be repelling people or not attracting others unknowingly. This is why I encourage my female clients to ask their close guy friends to share their first impression of the client. Many times the first impression of guy friends is also the first impression of other guys. While what they say might not be true of every male in the entire world, it might provide insight as to how you come off to guys.
Some things that might help you in discovering your non-verbal communication with potential dates is by taking inventory as well. Asking these questions may help you see if your non-verbals are sabotaging the possibility for future dates.
What could you do non-verbally that would let them know you are interested?
Do you stand at the bar with closed arms or look distracted by texting people when you are alone?
Do you look down or look away when you talk with someone or do you look at him or her in the eyes?
Do you tune the people out you talk with or do you look engaged in the conversation and ask thoughtful questions?