Misconceptions about Couples Therapy

Before deciding if couples therapy is right for you, it can be helpful to know what to expect. With that in mind, here are some common misconceptions, and what actually happens during a couples session.

If I go to couples therapy I’m just going to listen to my spouse complain about me for an hour.” While criticisms in a marriage are common, often time is utilized by identifying and understanding the complaints that influence interactions and feed conflicts. These patterns or cycles are what usually keeps couples stuck.

“The therapist will finally tell my spouse why they are wrong.” While no person is 100% to blame, the focus of couples therapy usually spent learning to recognize and express underlying emotions then promoting a more secure connection.

“Fights with my spouse are about money, sex, or kids.” These are likely symptoms of deeper issues. Underneath these concerns are deeper questions for the couple, such as, “Do my feelings matter to you? Are you there for me? Will you respond to me when I need you?”

“The therapist is going to recommend that we talk to each other weird.” You may have seen the episode of “The Office” where Jim and Pam go to couples therapy. It is helpful to learn communication skills, but learning how to share and respond to emotions can be the start of healing our relationship.

Dustin Ellis