If you struggle with anger, taking the time to measure your angry outbursts can be a helpful tool. Anger has such a negative reputation because of the way people react when this emotion surfaces. I often tell clients that anger is a signal that flashes across our lives to indicate that something is happening which may be very important in that one moment in time.
Challenge Your Pattern: Aggressive Behavior
Aggressive behavior is a style of expressing one’s feelings and needs in a way that violates the rights of others. This pattern of behavior will often generate fear in others and alienate them from the aggressor. An individual with a pattern of aggressive behavior will blame others instead of taking accountability for their actions.
Challenge Your Pattern: Passive Communication
Passive communication is a style where one has developed a pattern of avoiding expressing their opinions and/or feelings. They often avoid protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. People who tend to develop passive ways of communicating usually suffer from low self-esteem and feel “I’m not worth it.” This style of communicating can also lead to feelings of anxiety, helplessness, depression and anger.
Story & Identity: What We Can Learn From Miley Cyrus
We are all telling a story with our lives. Many times it’s hard for us to see what kind of story we are telling. We can feel a sense of meaninglessness. We might ask questions like, “What does my life really add up to?” Or, “Do people notice me?” Other times we might feel keenly aware of who we are, what we believe, and where we are headed in life.
It’s not About the Nail: Communication & Gender Differences
Communication for couples is often blocked because of patterns in the relationship. Gender differences are often quite obvious when a couple is communicating.
Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO): How is technology affecting us?
FOMO, also known as the “fear of missing out,” has become a common phrase in today’s conversations (or at least for the twenty-something age bracket). For those of you who are not in the loop, FOMO is a term people at times use in reference to their frustration at not being able to be two or three or eighteen different places at once. They even use it in reference to their anger and sadness that they are “missing out” because they were not invited to an event or social gathering of sorts.
The Growing Parent: Daily Report
“I work long hours everyday, and even though my children are homeschooled, I feel like I have no clue how they are doing. I just always assumed that by making the choice for our family to homeschool I would be much more involved in their lives…”
Being a Supportive Friend: The DOs and DON’Ts
Regardless of your own experience, you CAN be a supportive friend to someone dealing with the possible end of a relationship. Whether it’s a break-up, separation, or a full-fledged divorce, they need friends to lean on in this difficult time.
The Growing Parent: Anger & Finding a Solution
The sixth and final device I suggested was to take the time to talk through the situation and find a solution that is agreeable to both of you. As your children age, this concept will become more and more important. Having a history of open communication with your child will help to lay the groundwork for a positive experience throughout adolescence.
The Growing Parent: Anger & Assertiveness
Assertiveness can be very difficult at times, but in all relationships the ability to communicate assertively lowers the likelihood of misunderstandings. Communicating with our children is no different. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to tell someone exactly what you want from him or her when you’re frustrated, so this often takes a tremendous amount of effort.
