Emotional Intelligence Takes Courage

Psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman first introduced a concept called emotional intelligence in 1995. His idea was the ability to understand and manage emotions greatly increases our chances of success. As a professional counselor, I spend a lot of time working with my clients by encouraging them to become … Read More

Grief and Silence

For those who are experiencing deep grief- the kind that feels like your insides are being ripped out, and you have to struggle just to take the next breath- hearing a platitude can feel insulting. In our culture today, I don’t know think we are taught how to grieve. As … Read More

Should You Maintain Holiday Traditions After Loss?

Grief is challenging enough to deal with during a normal time, but with the upcoming holidays, your loss may seem more profound. Often the questions arise with my clients as to whether or not to maintain holiday traditions. The truth is whether or not you do, the loss will be … Read More

How to Navigate a Toxic Relationship

Relationships are complex, made more so because there are people in our lives we simply can’t avoid.  Some relationships are toxic. If you notice you dread being around them, are emotionally exhausted after an encounter, sense you’re being controlled, or feel like you’re always “walking on eggshells,” this is probably … Read More

Brené Brown- Boundaries Are Ok!

As someone in the service profession, I find myself thinking about and talking about boundaries in relationships often.  Clients ask, “why are boundaries needed?” and “what would happen to my loved one if I stopped doing all the things I always have done?”  I have learned that, for myself, when … Read More

Recognizing When You Are in a Toxic Relationship

Poison comes with a warning label and an identifiable picture of skull and crossbones. Wouldn’t it be helpful if certain toxic people in our lives came with the same? Actually, the person himself is not toxic, but rather the behavior in your relationship is. The challenge is, this behavior is … Read More

Grieving During the Holidays

How do we cope with missing people and holiday traditions from seasons past that are no longer in our lives?  Experts on grief typically stress that everyone grieves in his/her own way, and it’s okay to accept and respect whatever feelings you may have.  Below are some suggestions to assist … Read More

Are Trauma Triggers Hijacking your Brain?

trauma

Have you ever been accused of overreacting? The cause may be your reaction to a trauma trigger. Triggers are memories, behaviors, thoughts, and situations that escalate emotional reaction. When you are in this highly emotional state, you lose the ability to make rational decisions. For some, it can result in … Read More

Failure and How to Recover

failure

Consider how you treat yourself after you experience failure. Do you engage in self-criticism, shaming thoughts, or take inventory of your shortcomings or bad luck? Now ask yourself how you would treat a good friend who experienced a similar failure. I’ve noticed, we will say things to ourselves that we … Read More

Healthy Eaters = Diet Success

healthy

Why is it that diets fail? Often, it is our thoughts that sabotage us in succeeding with eating healthy. The thought that you can’t have the french fries, pizza, or ice cream you have enjoyed for years incites a sense of rebellion. For most of us, this causes us to … Read More