For many people Memorial Day weekend marks the beginning of summer events and vacations. Families gather and set off fireworks, pools open, and women do a lot of shopping…but Memorial Day weekend is also an important time to remember fallen soldiers. This is a day for many to grieve their loss and honor their loved ones military service and life. This is something Americans have been doing on this day for many years.  Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day because it was a day to remember and honor the Civil War fallen soldier. The day was first observed on May 30, 1968 with the celebration of the day being held at Arlington National Cemetery where over 5,000 people helped to decorate the graves of soldiers. The history of Memorial Day even has some Georgia roots with Macon being one of first cities to have a day to remember the fallen soldier which inspired the national celebration and lead our celebration of Memorial Day to present day. There are many different ways people honor their loved one on this day; some place a flag on their grave, some tell stories about their loved ones, and some continue traditions of attending the Arlington National Cemetery.

Sometimes is can be difficult to know what to say or do on Memorial Day when your friend has experienced the loss of their spouse, their sibling, or their child in war. Remember everyone grieves in their own way so they may or may not want to attend certain services/events, visit their loved ones grave, or talk about certain memories. It is important that your friend knows they can grieve how they need to without feeling pressure or like you are pulling away from them when they want to talk about their loved. Be willing to sit in silence, go with them to emotionally difficult services or visits to their loved ones grave for support. Offer to help them on special days such as anniversaries, the fallen soldiers birthday, or day of honor such as Memorial Day that will likely be strong reminders of their loss and their loved one. Most of all just be willing to be with them through their hurt, loss, and anger is a great way to be a friend to someone who is grieving a fallen soldier this Memorial Day.

Jennifer Wilmoth, LAMFT
JWilmoth@ GROWcounseling.com