Be Angry Less Often: Measuring Your Anger

If you struggle with anger, taking the time to measure your angry outbursts can be a helpful tool. Anger has such a negative reputation because of the way people react when this emotion surfaces. I often tell clients that anger is a signal that flashes across our lives to indicate that something is happening which may be very important in that one moment in time.

Community: Three Ways to Enhance Yours


Community is a word that we hear often. We have our work community, our neighborhood community, community outreach, and even the television comedy Community. Regardless of how you are thinking of the word ‘community,’ we are all members of various groups. These groups help us shape our view of belonging, purpose, and commitment to the group.

Challenge Your Pattern: Aggressive Behavior

Aggressive behavior is a style of expressing one’s feelings and needs in a way that violates the rights of others. This pattern of behavior will often generate fear in others and alienate them from the aggressor. An individual with a pattern of aggressive behavior will blame others instead of taking accountability for their actions.

WHEN THE GAME IS OVER: Some Advice for Pro Athletes (Part 2)

After reading Friday’s post, whether you’re a pro athlete facing retirement, a pro sports wife, a coach, or a team owner, hopefully you will realize that when the game is over for an athlete, many people will be affected. There is good news. There is a “preretirement” approach to counseling … Read More

Relationships: The Law of Diminishing Returns

Economics. I make no claim to be an expert on the subject. However, I do know enough about the concept of diminishing returns to see it play out in other areas of life. It happens when a continued effort does not create the desired result.

How to be Like Iron Man

The character of Iron Man intrigues me. He is a combination superhero and rapscallion with a smidgen of chivalry thrown in to endear him to the hearts of many people. Beneath his modern day suit of armor, he shines as any Knight of the Roundtable, albeit more like a Monty Python character than the classic versions of knights like Arthur.

Holding a Grudge – Should You Give It Up?

It makes sense that the tendency to hold a grudge developed and was useful in past societies when our ancestors lived in caves, tribes, villages, farms, or small towns. The ability to hold a grudge may have developed as a protective mechanism to prevent one from being fooled again or taken advantage of. It helped one identify a slacker who could be very detrimental in those small communities. Looking at it this way, one can see it as possibly necessary for survival. Thus, holding a grudge can be seen as a defense mechanism; one that some people are very adept in using.

Mother Wounds

Each stage of development has its own struggles and concerns for a mother; somewhere along this journey into adulthood mothers have had a lot of potential to emotionally wound their children. They have spoken harsh words when a gentle answer was needed or been remiss in caring either physically or emotionally, sometimes exhausted by the tasks of mothering and their own unmet needs.

Green with Envy: Job Jealousy

Maybe you have these kinds of conversations you have in your head: I can’t believe he/she is working at (fill in the blank _____). I would love to be doing (fill in the blank _____________). Pay attention to your jealousy because it contains an element of truth.

Gravitational Pull

Susan Cain provides career advice that is helpful to both introverts and extroverts in the book, Quiet. She suggests paying attention to the gravitational pull that attracts you to some kinds of work. The opposite is worth paying attention to also; what kinds of jobs do you dislike?