Most people can relate to experiencing butterflies before giving a speech or going for an interview, but for people with social anxiety disorder (SAD), it is so much more than just butterflies. People who suffer from social anxiety worry constantly about what others think of them. It affects even basic … Read More
Emotion-Coaching Parents: Part 1
In The Science of Trust (2011), Dr. John Gottman identified two different types of parents: “emotion-coaching” parents and “emotion-dismissing” parents. Through research and coding interactions, they found that emotion-dismissing parents were trying to get their children to change their negative emotions into positive emotions. They disapproved of the negative emotion … Read More
Marriage Love Styles and How to Demystify Them: Part 1
I have found myself often explaining to couples that marriage difficulties are not necessarily the fault of the marriage. A lot of what we experience in our relationships is actually a result of our early years and how emotions and needs were imprinted into us by those we attached to. … Read More
Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 3
In Parts 1 and 2 of this series, we reviewed the characteristics of healthy and unhealthy marriage relationships. For some of you, understanding the dysfunctional characteristic of an unhealthy marriage relationship may have become a call to action to do something different in your relationship. You have many different options … Read More
Marriage Relationships and Their Healthy Characteristics: Part 1
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced a few ups and downs in your relationship. But do you ever wonder about the health of your marriage? In his book, “The Science of Trust,” Dr. John Gottman discusses that, even though healthy marriages can vary greatly … Read More
Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 2
In part 1 of this series, we took a look at disenfranchised grief. Disenfranchised grief is the category that covers grief that doesn’t have a socially accepted place to be recognized or expressed. Basically, it is the “ugly duckling” grief that people feel they have to hide because others won’t … Read More
Grief That Doesn’t Fit In: Part 1
There are tons of books, podcasts, shows, and blogs that address the topic of grief. Everyone experiences grief at some point in their life. It is the emotion that results when something or someone important to you is no longer in your life. Mourning is what happens when grief goes … Read More
Leaking is a Toxic Behavior Parents should Avoid: Part 1
What is leaking? Leaking is a term coined by Dr. Patricia Papernow, step-family and post-divorce expert, which describes what parents do and say to blame and/or undermine the other parent in the presence of their children. In my practice, I hear examples of leaking from many parents contemplating a divorce. … Read More
Complain, but Don’t Criticize
If you are in a committed relationship, you are occasionally going to complain about your partner. Valid complaints help us grow and become better partners. But how do you complain without it resulting in a fight? The key is to soften how the complaint is voiced. In Dr. John Gottman’s research, … Read More
Habits: Avoiding the Hamster Wheel
Making and breaking habits is hard work. Knowingly or unknowingly, much of our lives operate from the habits we have chosen. How we think, eat, exercise, inter-relate or work are examples of established habits. How do we strengthen good habits and interrupt unwanted habits? C. S. Lewis once said; “Every … Read More
