The word no is often a staple in most toddler’s vocabulary, while many adults have a very difficult time uttering this one syllable word.  Why is it that for most of us the first word we learn to speak becomes the most difficult to articulate when we are adults?

For some of us, saying yes to everything becomes a matter of how much we can accomplish and our identity is very much a part of what we do.  Or maybe the image of being agreeable is important because you really do have a generous heart and do not want to appear rude.  Others may be fearful of conflict that may arise if they say no or that they will lose an important opportunity for themselves.

When is the last time you have said no to something?  (Knowing it was the proper word to use in that particular circumstance?)  You may find the following questions helpful in thinking through word choice and adding this important word to your vocabulary again.

What motives are involved in my saying no?

Do I simply want to look good to those around me?

Am I afraid of what others will think of me if I say no?

Over the next few weeks we will explore the benefits and challenges to saying no…in the mean time, run an experiment. Try saying no to something this week that you don’t want to do!

Marlayne Whitlock, LAPC
MWhitlock@ growcounseling.com