I recently attended several dog training classes in the hopes of improving my dog’s behavior.  What became evident rather quickly was that my behavior impacts my dog’s obedience.  Rule One:  Dogs do what works for them. I observed my dog as a star student with the trainer.  It was on the home front when my requests and responses were inconsistent that the dog had difficulties – duh.  My behavior impacts my dog’s behavior.

In a way, we all do what will work for us.  Most of us do not think about how our behavior has the potential to impact others in any given situation.  Sometimes our defenses arise without any awareness.  Couples often struggle with being unaware of how their behavior impacts their spouse.  Taking responsibility for ourselves is sometimes the hardest thing to do because it is easier to blame others (or the situation) instead of being accountable for our own actions. Entering a state of self-awareness is sometimes painful because we recognize how we can get in the way of a relationship becoming healthy.  We often fall back into patterns that were ineffective in the past, but hope against hope they will turn out differently.  Training the trainer is not easy.

Marlayne Whitlock, MA, LAPC

mwhitlock@ GROWcounseling.com