Projective exercises are excellent therapeutic tools, designed to delve deeper into a person’s unconscious. According to cognitive neuroscientists, we are conscious of approximately 5 percent of our cognitive activity. This suggests that most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behavior depends on the 95 percent of brain activity that goes beyond our conscious awareness. … Read More
The Most Effective Way of Growing Your Emotional Intelligence
There are a bunch of really great books out there about emotional intelligence. Personally, I recommend the original Daniel Goleman book that first introduced the concept into our public consciousness. However, will reading books or attending seminars about emotional intelligence actually increase our own? How much does reading a book … Read More
Feeling Burned Out? Have You Checked Your Warning Light?
I often ask clients, “Would you rather fill your gas tank before or after you run out of fuel?” Predictably, most say they would rather fill the tank before it is empty. This works with a car, but when we are getting burned out, our bodies communicate similarly to a … Read More
Follow Your Feelings
Our society is often very logical. It is usually the expectation as an adult that you will be able to explain and justify your actions, and “I felt like it” isn’t typically acceptable when someone confronts something you’ve done that they disagree with. Furthermore, our feelings can be unpredictable, and … Read More
Is Criticism Wrecking Your Relationship?
Through his research, Dr. John Gottman found that distressed couples tend to use destructive behaviors in their conflict discussions, which leads to conflict escalation. He calls these behaviors the “four horsemen,” after the Biblical four horsemen of the apocalypse. They include criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. In this blog, I’ll … Read More
Gold Medals, Chloe Kim, and The Trick to Effective Guided Visualization
Over the past couple of days, I’ve been watching the Olympics with my family. Last night we watched women’s snowboarding. In the midst of all the frontside 1080’s and cab 720’s, I noticed something interesting. Before each rider took their turn down the pipe, the camera cut to them standing … Read More
Forgiveness and Your Mental Health
The bottom line is that when people forgive, their thoughts, behaviors, feelings, and health become more positive. Deciding to forgive is a good first step. But, deeper forgiveness will have a greater positive impact on your mental and physical health.
Tips on Keeping a Gratitude Journal
Research shows that keeping a journal can be great for our mental health. Research also shows that practicing gratitude can be great for our mental health. So keeping a gratitude journal should be extra-great for our mental health, right? Well… it’s a bit more complicated than that. Sometimes yes. Sometimes … Read More
Getting the Stress Monkey Off Your Back
The term “stress monkey” is both colloquial and scientific. Urban Dictionary describes a stress monkey as “one who behaves like a panicked monkey, when placed under minimal stress.” Interestingly, there was a study done with monkeys to assess what type of stress was significant enough to cause ulcers. The Executive … Read More
Gratitude and Dissatisfaction
It can be difficult to listen to someone express dissatisfaction with an open mind. Instead of receiving the comments as a reflection of someone else’s feelings, we insert ourselves into the mix, imbuing their comments with accusation and expectation and responding with defensiveness. Rather than risk criticism, we act quickly to shut … Read More
