The first time I heard that HALT method explained to me, I didn’t quite understand why loneliness made it on to the list. Most of us are aware of the fact that, on some level, being hungry or tired can make us irritable. And it makes sense that if I’m angry about one thing, I might take it out on someone else. But why loneliness? The answer has to do with two concepts: attachment and secondary emotions.
HALT Part 3 of 5 – Am I angry?
The HALT method is one of the most useful tools I have ever come across as a therapist. Whenever you find yourself heading towards a fight with your spouse/coworker/etc., ask yourself: Am I feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired? This simple question has the power to radically transform those conversations. … Read More
HALT Part 1 of 5 – Something to remember just before your next fight.
This is hands down one of the most helpful tools I have ever come across as a counselor. It’s a fairly common question used for self-reflection in recovery circles. You may be familiar with it if you or someone close to you has ever struggled with substance abuse. However, the … Read More
Keep the Spark Burning by Focusing on the Home Team!
Couples can actually learn a few valuable tricks from their favorite teams. According to marriage researcher, John Gottman, PhD., happy couples have a few things in common: They have friendship and admiration, they have each other’s back, they handle conflict well, and they have a sense of “we-ness”. With these characteristics, they form a pretty strong team that can handle life’s toughest challenges.
Six Rules For A Great Date Night
Date night is a wonderful opportunity for you and your partner to reconnect and deepen your relationship. A successful date leaves us feeling connected and appreciated. It also helps to strengthen friendship. Multiple studies have found that a strong friendship is the foundation for a long-term, healthy relationship. I’ve come … Read More
How Happy Couples Keep The Spark Alive
Happy couples have a few things in common: They have friendship and admiration, they have each other’s back, and they share experiences together that create special meaning for them. Date night can be one of the best relationship enhancers out there.
Naked Dating: The Ultimate Test of Vulnerability
We are hardwired for connection. It’s essential to our well-being. When we feel connected, we feel safe and secure. When we don’t, it leads to worry, anxiety, and we often question our self-worth. Connection is essential for our well-being. How do we build connection? By revealing who we are, authentically; in other words, by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. When we become vulnerable with someone who responds with acceptance and understanding, we feel safe and emotional intimacy is fostered.
For The Moments When Life Disappoints
Life is definitely not fair. This is a well-known fact. You probably heard an adult tell you this when you were a kid. Things very often do not turn out the way we planned or hoped. Often times, we must develop an alternate plan or goals for ourselves.
Healthy Relationships: Are They Worth the Effort?
Do good relationships just happen? Is it simply a matter of the right chemistry? The truth is healthy relationships take effort to establish and maintain.
Marriage: Knowing You’re Ready to Say I Do
Deciding to say “I do” is one of the most important life-changing decisions one can make. Being or feeling in love, although a hallmark that substantiates elevating your relationship to a lifelong commitment, will not secure a healthy marriage.
