“An empathic response is restrained, largely silent; following, not leading, it encourages the speaker to go deeper into his or her experience.” Empathy does not mean, as we often think, “worrying about, praising, cheering up, gushing, consoling, or even encouraging. It means understanding.” (Nichols, 2009, p. 84) There are so … Read More
Making Friends Post-College
Your college years are often an intense, shared experience where you are flooded with peers in the same life-cycle stage, everyone is in a new place, and most people are open to meeting new people and forming new relationships. Bonds are forged over being away from home for the first … Read More
Listening Well: Responding to Criticism
When was the last time you found yourself in an argument with someone? Who do you argue with most frequently? And what are those arguments about? Want a more productive option?? Michael Nichols, the author of “The Lost Art of Listening” shares a story about his temperamental cat that many … Read More
Helping Your Socially Struggling Child
All children struggle with something in life. For some, it is reading or math. For some, it is learning to tolerate the word “no.” For others, it is making and keeping friends their own age. Many parents feel incredibly helpless as they watch their child struggle socially, because while there … Read More
Cognitive Neuroscience Part 2: The Brain vs. The Mind
Over the next few posts, we’re going to talk about an emerging field of study called cognitive neuroscience. But don’t worry. We’re going to leave (most of) the 7-syllable words to the textbooks and wikipedia entries. Instead, we’re going to focus on the practical applications of this science on our … Read More
Reacting or Responding?
As I was reading recently, I came across a quote in Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More that really spoke to me. “We jump into the first feeling that comes our way and then wallow in it…we are reacting without thinking. When we react we forfeit our personal, God-given power … Read More
Caring for Someone with Addiction
“I promise this is the last time I will use… (fill in drug of choice)”. If you are in a relationship with someone who is struggling with addiction, you have most likely heard those words. You probably have believed those words time and time again, only to be hurt and … Read More
Relationships & Social Media
There is a deluge of information about the damaging effects of technology on relationships. A quick Internet search will pull up innumerable sources, from scientific journals to editorial rants, asserting that social media actually undercuts our ability to form healthy relationships. (For the record, I fully appreciate the absurdity of … Read More
The College Experience – Social Media & Anxiety
Experience is a great teacher. We learn though successes, we learn through mistakes, and we even learn from the internet. This summer, we are helping our students learn before their college experience. We have pulled together our experience in working with some of the brightest students, experience from working on … Read More
Foster Friendship with Your Spouse
While there are differing schools of thought as to whether your spouse can truly be your best friend, one thing is for certain…successful marriages are built on solid friendship. John Gottman, PhD, has studied both the masters and the disasters of relationships for more than 40 years. He figured that … Read More
