“We have been married for 15 years and have 3 young children together. It seems like we never have time to spend with just each other, and I don’t even know my husband anymore…”
Date nights are essential to a successful marriage. Just because you’ve been married for a dozen years doesn’t mean you will have another dozen years together ahead of you. Finding ways to remember why you got married in the first place shouldn’t be something couples try to figure out after the children have moved out, which more often than not is too late.
Dating each other doesn’t have to be expensive either. Once you’ve paid for a babysitter, gone out to eat, and bought a couple of movie tickets you’ve easily just spent $100. While I fully support couples’ efforts of incorporating a date night each week, you don’t have to budget an extra $5,200 a year just to remember why you married your spouse. Planning a date night at home can save a couple tons of money and the headache.
Waiting until after the children have been put to bed can be a great time to have a date night at home with your spouse over your favorite meal and a bottle of wine. Or better yet, kids are always looking for ways to be set apart or to shine in their parents’ eyes. Give an older sibling the opportunity to babysit a younger sibling while you are having a quiet dinner in the next room. This is not only a great opportunity to prepare your children to babysit when they get older, but it will also give them a sense of pride because they helped mom and dad have a special evening together.
Creativity is essential when you’re a parent. Use that creativity to find ways to connect with your spouse. Making that connection a priority, even though you have children, is an invaluable part of any marriage. Take some time today to think about how you can make date nights happen.
This is the 2nd week of our new weekly parenting blog we’re calling The Growing Parent. To see other posts, click on “The Growing Parent” in the menu on the right.
If you have parenting questions you’d like us to answer, feel free to ask them by commenting below.
Nick Hersey, LAMFT, LAPC
nhersey@ GROWcounseling.com
