We as humans are drawn to predictable patterns and people. We like to be able to understand our world, and categorize things into neat little boxes in our minds. It helps us to relax and feel safe when we feel like we know what is coming and how we need to be prepared for it.

Consistency is key for some people.

Since consistency in others and in situations feels good for most of us, it naturally follows that when you are consistent towards others, people begin to respond to you in more positive ways. If you are a parent, your children will start to see you as both a source of predictable support and love, as well as a source of structure and discipline who provides clear boundaries. As an employer or employee, your colleagues will view you as someone who can be counted on to do what they say and complete things as agreed upon. In your intimate relationships and friendships, people will start to view you as someone who can be depended upon to be present in difficult times but keep the boundaries necessary to maintain respect and autonomy.

The key to reaping the rewards of consistency is to know, at your core, what the things are that drive your beliefs, your decisions, and your desires.

In order for consistency in your life to be freeing rather than confining, the track you are adhering to must be one that fits with your worldview and your core beliefs.

To know this, it takes a good bit of introspection and exploration of what has shaped you as an individual and what you believe about the world. Does your faith form the cornerstone of your beliefs? Perhaps you are passionate about human rights, and always take the path that is most considerate of the needs of others. Or, perhaps you most value spontaneity and fun; your consistency may take the form of making choices that keep you free to explore opportunities as they arise and make room for play in your life.

Whatever it looks like for you, the path toward being able to fully embrace who you are and show that in a consistent way to the world is a worthy one to walk.

Written By: Molly Halbrooks, LMFT